Free for Now to Do Nothing

I on my official break from work. I guess that means I won't be going anywhere most days. I may have to go out shopping for groceries, and I can take walks, but the rest of the time, I will be home.

It's all a bit odd, thinking about not doing anything. The truth is, I often sit at home during my breaks. I read a lot, and scroll through Facebook. I read the comics every day. Sometimes, I take naps. None of this seems burdensome, until it is imposed from outside. I feel a small but real desire to defy the orders and go places. But I have been saying that the pandemic is real, that this virus will do a lot of harm, and that the best we can do is follow the advice of the public health professionals, so I have to go along.

It hasn't been hard to do so far. It's weird thinking that everyone I meet outside home could be a source of infection. It's weird thinking I could be a source of infection. Every time I feel something change, like my throat itches a little more, or I cough or sneeze, or I get a tingle in my lips, I think it could be a sign of growing infection. Yesterday, sitting in meetings, I got a slight headache, and I was wondering if I should go back to the check-in desk and have my temperature read again. My temperature was normal, as always, this morning, and I feel the same as I have all week today. But I am hypersensitive to changes and possible risks.

I hope I don't get the coronavirus. I don't know how I would respond, but mostly I don't want to spread the virus, especially to anyone I know. The statistics of the disease are clearly increasing around here, with well over a hundred people testing positive in Ohio, and the first death reported. No one I know has tested positive, as far as I know. I don't know how long that will last. I don't know when testing will become widespread in this country. I fear that we could be restricted in our actions for months. I fear the school where I teach could have further restrictions placed on it, even though we teach nurses, which will be needed through this whole thing in increasing numbers. We may have to adapt our teaching. I don't know how much I should write about my work, but probably not at all, so what can I say? I am waiting and watching to see what happens next, and I don't think it's going to be good news for a while, or that there is much I can do.

I'm glad we have a lot of books available. They provide a distraction from our lack of control or understanding.