Matters of Timing

 I thought about Christmas shopping as early as October, but didn't do anything about it. Liz started shopping at least in early November, ordering toys and other gifts for our grandkids and children. Then she decided to send gift packages to others that we haven't exchanged gifts with in the last few years. Along the way, she made a list of gift suggestions for her.

I didn't pay much attention to the text and email exchanges about who was getting what for whom. I mostly figured I needed to get things for Liz, because she has fun choosing the gifts from us for everyone else, and I really just get stress from the whole thing. I think Liz even got herself a few things, which is good, because she will choose things she wants.

I did, last week, finally start shopping. I tried to order a couple of things, including leg warmers, because they were on the list, but Sharon told me someone already got Liz leg warmers. She suggested something no one had said anything about. And it turns out I may have ordered something someone else also got her. When I was shopping, all the notices said my orders would arrive before Christmas.

Now I'm getting emails about my shipments. One is set to arrive 28 December, only three days after Christmas. Not before. The other may not have shipped yet, and today is Christmas Eve, so nothing I ordered will arrive on time. I fully intend to learn from this experience, and start my shopping earlier next year, but I still blame the algorithms. They assured me my orders would arrive on time, and only changed their position after collecting my money.

It's possible this was all decided by the humans that programmed the websites where I was shopping. It may even be standard practice. I didn't see much evidence of smart programming. The sites did a poor job of expanding offerings based on my search parameters, showing things that just weren't what I mentioned, and that did not interest me. I also found it frustrating that I would try to place an order based on what I was shown, but was not able to actually order the item I was looking at. That could be a clever device, using a weird kind of subtlety to put us off the scent of growing intelligence and sophistication by driving us to abandon some shopping sites in favor of others because it is too hard to spend our money.

In the end, I am mad at the algorithms for giving me false hope that my late shopping would still be on time, and I wouldn't ruin Liz's Christmas. Okay, Covid-19 ruined Christmas. Trump's incompetence ruined Christmas. Selfish and ignorant Ohioans ruined Christmas. But I still thought my gifts would arrive on time until I knew they wouldn't. So I will be even less trustful of the algorithms in future, and also less impressed by their knowledge, power, and intelligence. Stupid algorithms. You're getting coal-derived electricity for Christmas. Again.